unafraid

Onslaught

2011-03-20T13:22:00.003Z

My body breaks the wind's onslaught on the shore

Like a twig, rammed into the sand

Before a castle as the tide sweeps in.

The onslaught of wind upon mind is deeper,

And more thorough in its obliteration.

The thoughts and dreams of the day are swept

Away, and what remains is the calm before the storm.

Before as in preceding, in front of - standing ground - secure and anchored.

I feel like that twig before the castle of sand,

but unbeknownst to all my twig foot

Has extended twig roots and I'm firmly planted here.

The ratio of twig-to-castle seems to render defense impossible.

And yet... although the thought of ensuing battle is frightening

My eyes are becoming more aware of other twigs with twig roots...

Of larger twigs, with roots and shoots; of old oak trees

Whose twig-tips reach to the edges of heaven.

Suddenly my thin line of defense is consumed by the forest

And the strength of my heart returns.

I am not a twig, but a beloved daughter;

I am not alone, but surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, both dead and alive.

There is no castle of sand, but a kingdom of power and authority.

Our onslaught on the tide begins.

SNOW DAY!

2010-01-06T16:27:00.004Z

What a beautiful City I live in! This is from Brandon Hill right in the centre of Bristol. I love living here!!

Working in an inner-city school has its perks - no school on snow days because no one can get into town! Woohoo!! So sledging on Brandon Hill it was. An old bath panel was our only vehicle but it served beautifully as a toboggan!

One more thought...

2009-12-11T23:45:00.004Z

Someone reminded me recently of all the things I have begged God for over the years and not received. With the benefit of hindsight I can truly say I am so grateful to him for knowing me so well and not giving in to my demands! My life would be so different and I am so thankful for where I am right now and who I am. I am so grateful for all the amazing things he has given me at my request too, of course, but just wanted to remind you to be look back and be glad we don't always get our own way!

Christmassy Update!

2009-12-11T23:26:00.004Z

This is the view I am looking at right now! Aw... Christmas! What an amazing tree!! I came home one day last week and my housemates had erected it in the corner! It touched the ceiling which is about 11' or 12' high! (We don't just have miniature furniture). I love Christmas.

I am so sad to have totally crashed and burned this year on my reading list. I think a number of factors contributed to my terrible shortfall - mainly busyness and not always being able to find books I really get gripped by. I am not good at making myself read things I am not immediately drawn into - especially non-fiction. I just find it a slog to get through. Perhaps for next year my goal should be a little lower? How about 36 books? That's 3 a month. I have got 30 so far this year and might crank a few more out by the year-end but I think 36 would be a manageable target.

So in other news...
* I have been off sick 4 days this week with some kind of flu-ey thing - I don't think it was swine flu but it is hard to tell as the symptoms are roughly the same as those of normal flu..
* My new* job is going well I think. It is hard to tell and some days are better than others. But on the whole it is good. It certainly doesn't make me want to be a teacher - fair play to all of those who take on that awesome task. *not really new anymore.
* I will be attending a Hanukkah celebration tomorrow! First time for everything.

Johnny Apple-Seed

2009-09-24T23:21:00.002Z

OOOOOOhhhh, The Lord is good to me
And so I thank the Lord,
For giving me the things I need
The sun and rain and the apple seed
The Lord is good to me.
Johnny Apple-Seed
Amen

Fooooooor every seed I sow,
An apple tree will grow
And there will be an apple tree
For everyone in the world to see
The Lord is good to me.
Johnny Apple-Seed
Amen!

LIST OF RECENT BLESSINGS:

1. A job
2. Flat mates
3. An amazing flat!
4. Proofreading work
5. Weight loss

LIST OF USUAL-BUT-NOT-TAKEN-FOR-GRANTED BLESSINGS:

1. Amazing family and friends.
2. Amazing church.
3. AMAZING GOD!

News

2009-07-21T23:02:00.004Z

Check out

weighting the issue

for news of an exciting nature!

2009-06-04T16:19:00.006Z

SNAPSHOT OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW

* I am a freelance proofreader! Registered self-employed and everything.

* I have an actual proofreading job for the nhs! Go me.

* Church stuff is going well.

* God is doing amazing things in my life - He is so real, I can't even begin to describe
how amazing it is to know Him. I am loving being a Christian these days. Life to the full is on the horizon - woohoo!!

* I have no home but I am living with some lovely, lovely people who inspire me and encourage me. Always good.

* I am working in an office 2 days a week - less said, soonest mended!

* I have re-joined weightwatchers. Check out my progress on www.weightingtheissue.blogspot.com if you find yourself with a spare moment or two.

* Had an excellent time in N. Ireland recently. Came home feeling refreshed and encouraged and motivated.

More info can be given on application!

Bono

2009-03-03T21:46:00.003Z

You know those questions like 'If you could have a dinner party for 4 with anyone, past present of fiction, who would they be?'? One of mine would be Bono. I just read this book about him (as you will see if you check out my list of 52 on the left!) and he is just so interesting.

I find him totally fascinating and I have loved finding out a little bit about what makes him tick (incidentally, the format of this book is great; it is interview-style writing and so you get follow-up questions to lots of the things he says which is brilliant!). I get the impression that for all his celebrity he tries to be real about what he feels and how he lives his life. I think his lyrics are so raw sometimes and so obviously intensely personal. I haven't got the courage to be that out there. I wish I did. I often wish I could write songs and sing them out loud that express what I am feeling. Perhaps it would be cathartic, but I just can't do it! I write the songs and then burn all copies in case anyone finds them!

So, I was thinking about what I would talk to him about if I ever meet him. I drew a blank. I have no idea! And then I began to fervently hope that I never meet him in case he asked me any questions! Like what I am passionate about, and how much I do to help people who have nothing, and what I do with my time and my money... The list of potentially embarrassing questions is endless and so my list for dinner now goes like this:

Mum, Dad, Sarah and my Grandpa. All non-threatening and they all have to love me even if I do nothing of worth ever again!

Snow

2009-02-14T00:46:00.003Z

I love snow - I love to watch it falling, especially in the middle of the night when there is no noise and it is just silently blanketing the world. I love waking up and seeing that it has stayed and the whole world looks clean and white (of course disregarding the dirty, salty roads). I like bundling up in warm clothes and hats and scarves and gloves and going out into a city where the rules have changed a bit - for example, pedestrians carelessly traipse down the middle of roads to avoid icy pavements and cars are going so slowly that it is quite safe. And people take time off, for a moment forgetting the feeling that if they aren't in work the world will stop. People go off sledging or carry their skis to a city park and have a go down a tiny little hill. Strangers talk to each other and smile over a little slip, or a massive crashing fall! It brings out the community spirit in people. I love snow!

New Age, New Hair

2009-02-14T00:26:00.002Z

Just had a birthday so thought I should get a new haircut to go with my late twenties! I love it and it has already been helping with my love life as a guy in the bar I was at last night asked my friend, Hannah 'Golden' Brown, and I if we would like to go back to his house for a threesome. We decided perhaps not!

52 Books In One Year

2009-01-08T13:48:00.002Z

Last year I challenged myself to read 50 books in one year. I managed 48 and was sorely disappointed in myself for the failure. To some 4 may seem like a good number, but it was frustrating to fall short by so few - and also to know I could have done 50 if I had just made more of an effort. So, to make up for my failed efforts, this year I will again challenge myself to 50 and add the extra 2 from last year to even everything out and make it a nice round 52! Also, it suits my sightly obsessive need for things to be symmetrical, or seem to fit together as there are 52 weeks in a year! You can keep track on the left and if you are interested in the books there are links to the amazon pages for them all. As you can see I started this year with a non-salubrious choice!

Some 2008 Stats for the mathematically minded.

2009-01-02T18:43:00.003Z

Thought you might be interested to know a few stats from my 6 months of traveling in North America. In case you don't know what I was doing and some of them seem unrealistic I shall explain... The first 60 days were spent following 11, 12, or 13 bikers across the States and then I spent 2 months in Canada and then back down for a month and a half to America, all the while traveling around seeing various people I know around the place (and some people I didn't know but do now!) So.. here you go:

No of:
Different beds I slept in (01 June-30 Nov): 69
Flights taken: 14
States/Provinces visited: 20
Miles traveled: 23,264.5m (not including miles traveled within cities while staying there which could add about another 1,500-2000 miles which brings us roughly to the earth's circumference at 24,900m!!)
Delayed Flights: 3
Missed Flights: 1
Airlines Flown With: 4
Books read on the Road: 18
Pairs of shoes bought: 7
Hours played on Rock Band: 15 in 3 days

WARNING: Slightly Deep and More-Vulnerable-Than-Usual Post to Follow...

2008-11-20T03:42:00.003Z

The last months, as I'm sure I have said, have been a great journey of discovery. I have met some amazing people on my travels (not least the 5 brilliant girls in Kansas City who took me in at ridiculous short notice and made me laugh! And the wonderful Sarah who's honesty and beautiful spirit made Madison perfect), and been to many great places.

Last week I was at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, MO. It was awesome (read not in American, but in true sense of the word).

One of the things I have thought about my whole life is finding love - finding not just love, because I have loved before, but The Great Love. That feeling of being safe and committed to one person - loved for who I am entirely. Along with that comes thinking about a wedding and planning mine in my head - the plans have changed a lot over the years and are ever evolving! So far this Great Love has eluded me. I often ask God about it and wonder who it will be, or if it isn't going to happen, or if I am worthy of love, or if God has other plans for me (while secretly hoping he hasn't!).

Last week I was seeking God. I want to know him on a deeper level every day and to find new ways of being with him, and communicating with him, and loving him. I often feel as though the love I give him is insignificant and a small amount compared to the amount of love I have stored for other things. Anyway... to cut a long story short, one night at we were worshiping I have this amazing picture of Jesus' eyes. They were right in front of me - looking right at me in the most amazing way. So full of love and life and laughter and joy at seeing me. Then we sang this song:

I'm more than what these ashes say,
They will fade away when He comes for me.
By grace through faith in Christ I'm saved,
I am not the same when He looks at me.

I am the rose, the joy for which You died
And this I know, I move You with delight
And when my heart condemns on every side
I take refuge in the truth, I am the rose to You.

My life is more than meets the eye
I'm hidden now with Christ and I'm one with Him
My love is real before His eyes
He's ravished by the sight of one glance from me

I am the rose, I am the lily,
I am Yours, I'm Your beauty

There's going to be a wedding
It's the reason that I'm living
To marry the Lamb

I'm more than what these ashes say,
They will fade away when He comes for me
My love is real before His eyes,
He's ravished by the sight of one glance from me.

I realised then that I know my Great Love (and of course immediately burst into tears)! There is no need for me to be waiting for it. No other love is ever going to be as awesome as the one God has for me or I for him. I realised that no earthly wedding would ever compare to the day Christ comes again to marry us - the church - and that wedding is going to be nothing I could ever describe in words or hope to comprehend now on earth. I don't even think I can begin to tell you how much more I love God right now. I don't think I can put into words the way it makes me feel to recall his eyes on my face and the love there. I don't think I even want to describe it for fear of making it seem unreal.

Any earthly love that comes along now is a bonus - but I don't need it to fulfill my life because I am already whole and complete in Him who is the author and perfecter of my faith and will keep me safe until the end.

I think I finally get that whole 'better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere' thing and if heaven is like IHOP I will be eternally happy there (lucky, eh?!). I am sad to have left there and longing to go back. Anyone up for a visit...!?

Recent Thoughts

2008-11-09T20:57:00.002Z

This is me at the top of the Berthoud Pass in the Rockies west of Denver.

Over the last 5 months I have realised that I had lost hope. I had lost it for my job, for my church - BCF - and for my own life in a lot of ways. I was not feeling passionate about anything and I think I had allowed my relationship with God to suffer because I just didn't feel like he was listening or was powerful to make changes in anything I was doing.

I don't want to be melodramatic (for a change!) and there were times when I glimpsed more of his power and glory (like at the women's conference we had before I left Bristol) but on the whole I felt pretty hopeless and discouraged. I wish I had been able to discern that while I was still in Bristol, but as the descent into those feelings was slow and creeping it has taken time and distance to regain some perspective and some balance. I feel like I am experiencing one of my favourite lyrics "To obtain a bird's eye is to turn a blizzard to a breeze". I realise that life had become the small things of day to day instead of the larger goal of 'your kingdom come, your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven'.

On this 5 and a bit month time-out I have seen that God is big again, and that he is good, and that he is powerful. It has been an amazing, painful and joyful journey that isn't over yet. I guess more is to come and I am excited to go to the prophetic evangelism summit at the International House Of Prayer on Tuesday. I pray that God works a new thing in me - that I am more than ever convinced of his Majesty and his interest in me, you and the whole world. I pray that I know more about his character and his plans for us and that I see more of his Kingdom that is present and relevant.

Milgram Experiment

2008-10-01T19:59:00.003Z

I was chatting to my friend Lisa today about how people die every day because drug companies won't give drugs for free to people who need them but can't pay. I said I thought if the executives came face to face with those people they wouldn't be able to walk away unchanged - they would have to do something. Lisa said I had way too much faith in human nature! Somehow we got talking about how the people who worked for Hitler could do such inhumane and hideous things simply because they were under someone else's authority.

Lisa pointed me in the direction of an experiment by a guy called Stanley Milgram on just how far people will go when directed by someone they deem to have more authority than them. You can watch the experiment here on Youtube. The end of the video clip turns into something a bit more political, but the beginning bit is the experiment.

I looked it up on Wikipedia and found it a very interesting read. This is a quote from Milgram:

Ordinary people, simply doing their jobs, and without any particular hostility on their part, can become agents in a terrible destructive process. Moreover, even when the destructive effects of their work become patently clear, and they are asked to carry out actions incompatible with fundamental standards of morality, relatively few people have the resources needed to resist authority.^[4]

It is a very interesting experiment in its own right and I don't want to over-spiritualise everything I read, but I think it can definitely speak to me as someone who submits to a higher authority. It makes me think of Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego in the book of Daniel in the Bible who had the resources to stand up to the ultimate authority of their age, the King. And David, who had the resources to stand up to Goliath. And Jesus who stood against the Pharisees and religious rulers who had the place of authority in Israel. What did they have that I need to act responsibly and in accordance with God's will?

I think it was probably their faith in a God who had, and still has, the ultimate authority in heaven and on earth, but I also think it was about their knowledge of who they were in God's scheme of things. Imagine if we lived like sons or daughters of the ultimate authority?!

300th Post! An Anniversary of Sorts

2008-10-01T19:49:00.003Z

I am back in Toronto now having spent a little longer in Calgary than I had anticipated! It is nice to be back with Kirk and her Canadian family - the Nethercotts. It is nice to be back in a more familiar city too - I find that I like to know where I am and where I am going, it makes me feel less dependent, more independent.

The plan for the next while is to hang here for another couple of weeks, then back down to the States until the end of November when I will return to the motherland! Details are still being finalised but it is shaping up to be a great autumn!

I don't know what God is doing in me at this point in time. I feel like I am following him in the dark, mostly by where I have a vague feeling he might be. It isn't a bad feeling, just means I haven't clue what the next step is or where I will end up or really even what the process is. I am enjoying the sense of freedom though and the feeling that he is letting me choose while keeping an eye on me! Jeff Lucas said once that God's will isn't often a tightrope, a one-path-only kind of will, but instead it is a field - with boundaries but possibilities! I like that.

Calgary and Other Things

2008-09-27T20:17:00.004Z

It feels good to be back in the swing of checking people's blogs and updating mine. It was too hard to keep it up over the summer, but things have settled down now and I am in the one place for more than one or two nights at a time so it is easier to keep up!

This week I have been in Calgary, Alberta, visiting friends who lived in Bristol for a while 5 years ago - Drew and Carla. They have twins now, Eli and Sophie who are ridiculously cute!

This is us downtown in Calgary - beautiful time of year to be here with all the trees changing etc. It is very pretty.

I missed my flight back to Toronto - it was at 12.15am on Thursday 25th and so I got mixed up with days and didn't really think about the fact that that meant Wednesday night, I was just thinking Thursday night. I managed to get Air Canada to change my flight to Sunday night so all worked out well in the end - manage to spend more time here with the Myers family, and miss a sponsored walk I didn't have any sponsors for and had to pay to do! So, all's well that ends well!! (totally unplanned Kirk, before you start!)

Drew and Carla took me to the mountains which was beautiful - they know I am not a big fan of hiking so the day focused more on shopping, coffee and beautiful sights! It is good to have friends who know you well!

I also met a great family called the Bartels. Dad has been friends with them for ages and loves them so he was keen for me to meet up with them. We had Sunday lupper (lunch/supper). I loved them too so it all worked out well. They seemed to think Dad and I were alike...

I am heading back to Toronto on Sunday (have made sure I know my flight times) and will be there for another 3 weeks or so staying with the Nethercotts and Kirk. Good times! I am looking forward t being back there, feels kind of like home from home for now. Still not sure of any plans further than 12th January so if anyone has any ideas... Am looking for some kind of gainful employment as am just depleting my reserves now!

New Guitar!

2008-09-15T01:51:00.003Z

Look at my new guitar! It's an Art and Lutherie cutaway in cedar sunrise (slightly pretentious colour title). I bought it in Steve's Music Store on Queen St W in Toronto and I love it! It is amazing - my fingers ache from playing it every day after not having played since the end of May!

Toronto is a lot of fun! I am living with a lovely family and hanging out a lot with Kirk. I am missing Bristol though, which is a nice thing in a way because it means I really might go back there. I was a bit afraid that if I left I would get caught up and carried away by a stream of circumstances to somewhere else... And who knows, I still may, but for now it is nice to know that I miss home. I also miss knowing things like where the best live music venues are, or where I am going, or where to go and eat, or where to go for the best shopping/starbucks/reading experience... I have found a few places that I love but I know there are many more I need to investigate!

Plans for the next couple of months are to stay in Canada until 14th October, then head back down to the USA with a 30 day unlimited rail pass and hit about a million destinations on a literal whistle-stop tour! Heading back to Ireland on 30th November and then off to Bristol for New Year so catch up with you all (hopefully) in those places and at those times!

Muskoka Woods Summer, Summer, Summer, Summer!!

2008-08-25T18:21:00.003Z

I am at Msukoka Woods - the camp for kids that I worked at in the summers of '98 and '99! It has been ages! This is the view from the edge of the lake the other day at sunset. Truly magical! Will be here until Friday night then heading down to Toronto for a while. Love traveling! Will also try to be a better blogger (although blog-land seems a lot slower in the summer in general...).

What a Summer!

2008-08-25T17:57:00.002Z

Sorry for the total abandonment! This has been quite a summer. So, a quick update... since we last spoke I flew to Seattle on 15th June to meet up with all the riders and support people who had no idea what was in store over the next 60 days! The first night I arrived late and was whisked away by a man I had never met to his house (where his wife was waiting). They were really nice but I was slightly worried by the racks of guns on the walls! I texted my cousin my address in case I didn't make it back - they would at least know where to look for my remains! Anyway, it all turned out ok and the ride started on Tuesday 17th June at 6.30am from Washington Park in Anacortes, WA. The riders dipped their back tire in the Pacific Ocean and then took off in drips and drabs for Bar Harbour, MA; 4,200 miles away!

I drove the whole way across the United States of America! How amazing is that?! It was such a great opportunity and it was amazing to see small-town America (for the most part) and to be hosted by different people every night and meet people from all kinds of walks of life. Their generosity and willingness to welcome a bunch of absolute strangers into their homes was amazing. I went to the Mall of America (biggest Mall in the USA, it has a theme park in the middle of it!) and there purchased my new MacBook! It is so ridiculously lovely. We had millions of little adventures along the way and most of them were 'had to be there' moments so I won't go into them, but suffice to say it was a great way to spend a summer - I highly recommend it to anyone.

This is a picture of all the riders at the end of the ride putting their front tire into the Atlantic Ocean in Bar Harbour, ME. What a moment! I don't think it really sank in for a while what an achievement they had all been part of - if it sank in at all! I am so proud of them all. There were days when I know I would have been bawling if I had been on a bike (like days 2-60!). Mad props to them all!!!

Week 1 - Overseas

2008-06-10T00:09:00.003Z

I am in Charlotte, North Carolina. North Carolina's state carnivorous plant is the venus fly-trp, hence the photo. Who knew states needed a carnivorous plant?!

I am staying with my Auntie Katie and Uncle Tom (my mum's sister and her husband). It is above 90F during the day and drops only a few degrees at night so we are well air-conditioned most of the time. Although I kind of like the heat! We walked to Starbucks this morning (another thing I like) but we left it a bit too late - we didn't leave until 8.30am and really by then it was too hot to walk far! So I think tomorrow we will be leaving a little earlier. My body thinks it is 1.13am, although here it is only 8.13pm! So I am a little ahead of myself.

It is great to be here, and I am having a great time spinning about in a sporty cadillac and making my auntie squirm in the passenger seat, but I am missing home. I miss being able to muse over the minutiae of the day with good friends or just calling someone up to see if they are up for a coffee. I can do that here, but I guess it is the specific people I miss, not so much the activities.

Last week I went out for a coffee in Ballynahinch. I thought I would take a book and my journal and just chill out for an hour and a half before I was due to meet some friends for dinner. Firstly, nowhere has wireless internet, so that's bad. Secondly, the place I went had no coffee as their machine was broken. Thirdly, the waitress (who I knew) kept coming over to see if I was ok with this kind of 'i feel sorry for you being on your own' look as though I had been stood up and needed someone to come and cheer me up! I assured her I was fine and longed for the staff in the Tinto/Porto/Deco lounge who are well used to random coffee drinkers sitting for hours just on their own doing their own thing. It is the little things that make life lovely.

I did, however, have an excellent time at home with my family and friends - I will post some pics as soon as I can.

Tatafornow!

PS Please can I encourage anyone who would like to, to email me!

Leavin' On a Jet Plane

2008-06-07T10:07:00.002Z

For those of you who were holding their breaths after this week's earlier posting this quick post will come as a relief. Lungs weren't made for that kind of stamina but kudos to those of you who tried...

My bags are packed, I'm ready to go... I'm leavin' on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again... John Denver says it so well that it leaves me little left except to wish you all a fond farewell, until we meet again some sunny day (I am feeling in a lyrical mood).

I will update again soon I hope with some more exciting info - although who knows, it might be a dull trip and laughs will be few and far between - or photo opporutnities. I suspect not though as we will be raking about in the Rockies by this time 2 weeks! Woohoo!!

So long, farwell, auf wiedersehn, goodnight...

Musings of a Hobo

2008-06-03T22:38:00.004Z

I am a jobless, homeless hobo. I am in good company though as so was Jesus for his ministry time so I feel ok. Actually I feel pretty gutted that I have left Bristol. I love it dearly and the people there are as close to me as family and I am going to miss them so much. If you think that at the beginning of a year long travelling adventure that sounds like self pity - you would be right. But I am just trying to be honest - it is hard to leave behind my little life that I carved into Bristol for myself. It is hard to leave people who have, for 9 years, been all I have needed to survive. It is hard to leave behind knowing what I am doing and head into a world of not knowing anything at all - even if my house will be sold or my plans will be viable. It is all a little unsure. And when you're unsure what do you need? Friends who are there telling you it is going to be ok. So I left those behind too and am just adrift on my own!

Haha - I know, I'm ridiculous. I am laughing at my own melodramatic ramblings. I will be fine and I am able to keep in touch with every single person through the wonder of the interweb and my phone! So I need to just suck it up and get on with experiencing whatever is coming up. I know that, so I will. It might just take me a day or two!

I thought you might like to see a photo or 2 of my house before I left it. This is the trailer loaded to the gills with all my stuff for the ride home and my sold sign - perhaps it is a bit optimistic...

This is a few of the many people who helped me move - we ate fish and chips on the floor and drank out of plastic cups - like hobos.

So, off on an adventure on Sunday. I am praying that by then my sadness at leaving everything behind will have been replaced by joy at new experiences and new friendships. I am hoping to return to Bristol in the long term so that is also something to look forward to! I will try to keep this updated as much as I can and I'm sure I will have a billion photos so, although I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you, dear reader, I would check in every now and then to see if anything new has trailed out of the end of my fingers.

Adios for now!

Book Thoughts Please

2008-05-10T13:50:00.002Z

Anyone read this? Let me know what you think if you have... All comments welcome!

Update on EVERYTHING!

2008-03-16T23:04:00.007Z

I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed recently - so much so that I thought I should go back to Ireland for a while and see my family and take some time out!

I think work, selling my house, leaving Bristol, not knowing what is ahead and everything else about life had been getting a bit much. I had a great time at home with my mum (dad was away in the States) just doing the usual things like shopping and having coffee! Mum and I are mostly on the same wavelength!

I had a lot of fun with the dogs - there is a river near our house and I took them round there to exercise. They make me laugh! The water was very high because it rained a lot so the little dog was not so keen to go in in case he got swept away. It is relaxing to be in the country messing about with water and trucks and dogs.

Claire and I went to see U23D. I had wanted to see it in Bristol but it wasn't on - it was on in Newport a few weeks ago but I couldn't go the one week it was on. Luckily one of the only 2 cinemas showing it in the whole of Ireland is near my house! So off we went. It isn't really Claire's idea of a good time I don't think but we made a good spectacle in our 3-D glasses! And it was pretty amazing to have Bono about 3ft away from you, even if it isn't exactly real.

Things that restore my soul are the sky at sunrise...

I am really excited to begin my adventure in the summer - but I am also really sad to be leaving Bristol. I don't know where this road is going to lead me and if I will be back here... my favourite poem is The Road Not Taken. The author talks about taking one way over another...
"Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back."
Would coming back to Bristol again after this year be a backwards move? Or will my road lead back here?! Who knows. It is exciting to be starting a new chapter in my life, but also really sad to think that this part of my life might be over and the people that I love here in Bristol might be come friends by correspondence. Oh, who knows! It is too hard to think about it all. Or at least for now.

Being Tagged

2008-03-16T22:48:00.002Z

I was tagged by Debs so thought I would respond!

Rules:
1. Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post THE RULES on your blog.
3. Post 7 weird or random facts about yourself on your blog.
4. Tag 7 people and link to them.
5. Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged.

So, 7 weird or random facts about me:

1. My idea of a perfect afternoon is a Starbucks skimmed hazelnut iced latte and a good book and maybe my ipod.
2. I don't like any animals smaller than cats.
3. I have hypermobile joints.
4. I would love to be a writer and live by the sea.
5. My favourite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle was Raphael.
6. I started dying my hair when I was 13 and haven't ever had my natural hair colour since.
7. My (current) favourite song is 'Made-up Lovesong No43' by The Guilemots.

I tag Rachel Kirk, Charlie Knox and Pete Martin. I know that isn't 7 , but hey, we can't all have so many friends!

2008-02-24T23:07:00.002Z

If your name was Richard would you shorten your name to this and sell cars?!

2008-01-27T00:13:00.000Z

This is a year of change and new adventures for me! My house went on the market this week and I am hoping it will be sold by 1st June at which point I am hoping to head off out into the big wide world for a while! I am not making any very definite plans yet apart from the first 3 months which will be spent helping to crew a cycle across America for YFC that Dad is organising.

From then on I only have a vague idea of what I want to do - it includes visiting people I haven't seen for a while in Canada and the US; maybe spending the winter in France learning French and learning how to snowboard; and then who knows - the world is my lobster as my Dad would say.

I am really excited about it all. I am leaving my job altogether and I have not set any time limits on the time out so I honestly don't know how long I will be gone. I would love to spend some time in Canada at Muskoka Woods but who knows. It is just all a bit vague so far!

One of the things I am sad about is leaving people behind who I love and don't want to lose touch with (thank goodness for blogs and Facebook!) but then again I am really excited to renew friendship that have through distance and time been neglected.

I am sad about leaving my job and the people I work with, but I am excited about new challenges and new things to learn.

I am sad to be leaving BCF (my church) for now but excited about being on my own with God and finding new expressions of church in other parts of the world.

Goals for the year:

1. to lose weight and get fitter (see www. weightingtheissue.blogspot.com for more info on this)
2. to leave my job well
3. to follow God's plan for my life and live each day for Him
4. to work in at least 3 countries
5. to keep in touch with people / renew friendships
6. not to spend all the money I get from selling my house!
7. to read 50 books (I get 2 weeks off...).

Mousey

2008-01-07T23:04:00.000Z

Mousey is no more. He slash she was found deceased this morning. Unfortunately he slash she was not sporting a fashionable helmet at time of death, making the snap of the trap fatal. A very kind friend was called upon to dispose of the body to avoid undue stress. RIP Mousey, you will not be missed that much by us. Let's just hope you didn't have babies...

All Getting Too Much

2007-12-22T12:13:00.001Z

I took Dan's advice and bought 2 mouse traps yesterday. When I asked the man in the shop to show me how to set them he kindly obliged. When he set it off I burst into tears! I think it is definitely time for a break - perhaps I have used up all my coping resources for 2007! Looking forward to a bit of TLC at home.

Bad News...

2007-12-14T08:58:00.000Z

Millicent Mouse is still at large... just a lonely, empty bucket by the sofa. Will leave it for the rest of the day and see what happens. Maybe Milli was asleep all night?

Like this..

2007-12-13T23:43:00.001Z

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

A Moral Dilemma

2007-12-13T22:53:00.000Z

Tonight a mouse ran across our living room as I was watching Friends. I don't think my heart has accelerated that fast since last time I was on a roller coaster or something! It was only a tiny little thing, but it strikes such fear into the old heart. I absolutely know that it isn't going to hurt me, and that it is probably more afraid of me than I am of it etc, however, the primal instinctual reaction is one of fear. Why is that!?

Anyway, what to do? Options are:

a. do nothing (would probably end up with mouse babies)
b. get a traditional mousetrap (would probably end up with 2 halves of a mouse or a half-dead mess)
c. use a humane trap (would have to deal with an actual live mouse!)
d. use poison (would require little piles of poison to be lying around)
e. get a cat (causes long term issues with owning a pet again)

I don't really want to kill the mouse. Is it ever right to kill things? I don't think it is right to kill people; I am not a fan of killing things like horses or dogs or cats, so how come as things get smaller it gets more acceptable?! When do we draw the lines?

I don't like the idea of just murdering the mouse because I don't want it in my house. I would rather get rid of it some other way. However, the thought of even picking up a box with a live mouse in it scares the life out of me! If it moved I think I would probably drop it and it would escape and I would die. I also don't like the thought of a poor little mouse getting its back broken by a trap and then dying a slow, painful death on the floor. That's horrible! And I don't like the thought of it dying in horrible pain because of poison. And I don't want a cat.

So, the plan my friend came up with is this: get a bucket, put some gerbil food and sawdusty stuff (supplied by her) in the bottom of said bucket, grease the inner sides of the bucket with margarine, and leave the mouse to its own devices. This homemade remedy is downstairs now waiting for its rodenty visitor. The only slight issues is that I don't ever want to look in the bucket again, and neither does my housemate. Also, my friend said that you have to take them a mile or more away from your house so that they don't find their way back in!! I am certainly not getting into my car with a mouse-filled bucket to drive it a mile or more away!! That is a recipe for an accident right there.

I will let you know how it goes. If there is more than one I will cry! We might have to have a greased bucket around for a while...

Wales '07

2007-12-03T22:24:00.000Z

Went on holiday at the beginning of November with these people mentioned on the left. We hired this amazing converted barn called Greenala Barn which was amazing! Would highly recommend a visit. It is in the middle of nowhere - so peaceful and restful. It is really close to the sea so there are some really amazing walks to do and some lovely little towns nearby.

One of the highlights for me was leaping off the harbour wall into the sea (I'm the one on the far left). BIG adrenaline rush and we did it quite a few times and ended up pretty cold. It was November...

We played frisbee on the beach - I an genuinely terrified in this picture and leaping out of the way. Banks was getting a bit competitive!

Gigs

2007-10-13T11:27:00.001Z

I feel like I go on about gigs a lot on this blog. Partly that is because I go to quite a few and partly because they are really important to me. Sounds bizarre I know and to peolpe who don't love gigs it just sounds ridiculous, but I will try to explain why as we go along. This is probably another super-self-indulgent rambling so feel free to look at the pretty pictures and I will try to give a synopsis of great gigs and you can forget the rest.

This past 2 weeks I have been to 3 gigs:

Gig no1: Incubus

It was in Cardiff. I went with Banks. We had seats. It was amazing. They played a lot of my most favourite songs and the sound was pretty good. The lights were great and added mood and feeling. Generally I loved it - more than the last time I saw them as they played some old stuff that is amazing. A great live band. I think it helps to know their stuff, I don't know if I would go without being into them. They are great musicians and the whole night was just brilliant.

Gig no2: Oceansize

It was in the Bierkeller in Bristol which isn't the best venue ever and I had to leave early as I was being birth partner for someone I work with (resulting in this baby! She is 10mins old in this picture... what an amazing experience and I may talk about it some other time...)

Oceansize are a really good live band and I enjoyed what I saw of the gig. They usually blow me away so it was a shame to have to leave but obviously worth it. I have seen them quite a few times now and they are so weird and they love being unpredictable and doing totally unusual things with their music. Definitely worth a visit!

Gig no3: Damien Rice

This was probably one of, if not the, best gig I have ever been to. It was literally awesome - and I don't use that word lightly. It was awesome. Damien Rice is an amazing live performer. It was practically impossible to think about anything other than the music and the performance. The man's voice is so strong. At one point he sang 'Cannonball' with no microphone, just him and his electric guitar turned way down (I took this picture from our seats which were 19 rows from the front - about a third of the way back from the stage so you can see how big the venue was!). It was amazing. It is hard to even put into words what was so amazing about it but take my word for it - if you have a chance to see him live go - mindblowing.

And so for some more philosophical musings about gigs in general...

I was trying to think last night on the way home what it is about gigs I love. There are so many things and it is a conglomoration of all of them that make gigs important for me.

It's the way music can take over your mind and body. It enters in through your ears and then expands in your head, expelling other thoughts and filling you with an intensity of sound. It is hard to describe the feeling but if you have felt it you will know.

It's the way you can feel live music in your whole body - your feet vibrating on the floor, your chest vibrating with the sound of the bass and the drums, your eyes skipping across all the musicians or transfixed on one particular one, your hair standing on end when the music is affecting your soul... Sounds dramatic but it is true!

It's the way music can make me feel so alive and in an exact moment. I will never have a moment like that again, of that sound, those people, that place, those lights and words, this time, this place. It is only ever going to be like this once. I know every moment is like that, but in a gig it becomes more obvious, or evident, or important to me.

It's the way you can be standing in a crowd of 100, 500, 1,000 or 10,000 people and not be interacting with any of them - just experiencing music that you love and feeling blown away by the intensity of it and knowing others around you are too and not wanting to speak in case it bursts the bubble. (and wanting to physically remove people who are speaking around you!)

It's the way a massive group of eclectic humanity is collected in a room, focused on one thing and all experiencing it differently. Every person there will have a different favourite moment, a different feeling at the end, a different expression of how it made them feel. Each person will attach meaning to a part significant to them that others may not have noticed. Live music affects people. I love how there are so many different types of people there in one place and no judgement is made about who has or hasn't the right to be there. Maybe life should be more like that on the whole!

It's the creativity and life in music. There are a finite number of notes, but a seemingly infinite number of ways they can be arranged and sometimes it is amazing and makes magic. I love artists who play around with the rules of music - like Oceansize. They love to use mental time signatures that leave me tapping and counting on my fingers to try and work out how clever they are being! I can't believe they can play in those time signatures and not be almost counting out loud! I love artists who use different instruments and have bizarre arrangements of things - like Incubus have a DJ who plays with them and he just adds so much interest and intrugue and they are different to other rock bands because of him. Or Damien Rice who has 5 people in his band including him and they swap around and play different things and use interesting instruments to add depth and meaning to their sound. You can't capture all of that on an album.

Maybe that's the best thing - the way you can love an album and then when you see the music live it lives so much more. It changes and morphs into something alive and vibrant and unexpected. I hate artists who play everything exactly as it is on their album. I feel like shouting 'I have the album - do something new!'. It is uncreative and lazy!

Live music inspires me to be more creative. It makes me want to sing and play music and perform. It makes me want to see more live music! I think I may have an insatiable desire to experience music through more than just my ears. People talk about the sountrack of their lives - I want to end up with too many tracks to choose from. I think heaven will definitely include at least some gigs!

Also, Dan came, we had fun, didn't make any gigs though as no one good was playing - last time he was here we saw Athlete which was amazing. Anyway, fun to catch up with old friends and feel like no time has passed. Good times.

The Morning After...

2007-09-26T08:12:00.000Z

Went to an Incubus gig last night and woke up looking like this! Scared myself. Amazing gig though - they are sooo good live. Maybe tell you more later if I have time.

2007-09-17T19:58:00.000Z

Went on holiday with the parents to Scotland for a few days a week and a bit ago. IT was really nice. We stayed in this hotel on the shore of Loch Ard which is in the Trossachs. Really stunning scenery and beautiful lakes, mountains, sunshine... It was one of those hotels where you have a restaurant which makes you want to photograph the food, not eat it and the waiter flaps your napkin over you knee for you. We only went there one night. They had another restaurant with real food and real portions which was maybe more to our liking! Really nice place.

Dad and I took off one day up the mountains on quad bikes which was nice and also did a bit of sailing. I had never been sailing before and Dad used to teach it back in the day and apparently it hasn't changed much. It was quite amusing! The person in charge of the tiller and the main sail is the one who controls how angled the boat becomes when it catches wind (you know how you see people leaning right out the side of their boat trying to balance it - that's a pretty steep angle!) When that was my job I would catch the wind, the boat would tip and I would instantly panic and let go of something or wave my arms in the air like a lunatic! Not the correct response! Dad was laughing his head off at me. But not so funny as when he was in control and I was in the front of the boat. Then he was laughing his head off because every time we caught the wind the boat would tip and I would nearly fall clean out and spent a lot of time yelping and trying to grab for the oppsoite side of the boat to haul myself back in! Fun for him...

I think this is a pretty snazzy photo of Dad - he looks the part anyway!

Weekend Frolics...

2007-08-07T21:31:00.000Z

Went camping to Woolacombe at the weekend (North Devon for those of you who aren't from these parts). Really nice beaches and great weather. The people I was with are surf-types so this picture depicts the kind of action they were after and they got some good wave conditions. The beach is kind of like Portstewart Strand for those of you in the know, but longer and with better waves and amazing cliffs behind instead of amazing dunes...

Had a small scare on Saturday night! The boys went off surfing and I hung around at this festival thing for a bit then headed down to the beach to see if I could see them in the waves. When I got there I sat down on a bench beside these 2 women who started to tell me about how I had missed all the excitement. A surfer had just been air-lifted out of the water after floundering on the rocks at the end of the beach!! There had been 3 police vehicles, ambulances, coastguards...

So, clearly started to panic thinking it was Toby or Rudi! I phoned Toby's phone, it was off. Then I phoned Rudi's and got an engaged tone! Immediately I am thinking that Toby has died and Rudi is calling his parents to let them know. So I leave these two women on the bench and run off to find a coastguard to see if they can give me any information. I found this group of men who are all standing round the coast guard truck. I ran up to them and started babbling about my friends being in the water and just coming to see if they were there and I had been at a festival thing, and we were camping for the weekend, and they went surfing, and missing the whole rescue and thinking it was them... so generally talking so fast the man was finding it hard to get a word in edgeways. Eventually he tells me it was a woman they rescued so my friends were fine! I exhaled and said thank goodness... which possibly wasn't the right thing to say? It wasn't showing much empathy for the woman who had been rescued...

Anyway, Toby and Rudi were fine and weren't even surfing in Woolacombe, they were at the other end of the bay in Putsborough. So no need to panic. Who knew though?!

Altogether had a great time - was very relaxing and chilled out. What I needed after... well read the next post to find out...

Sorrow

2007-08-07T21:10:00.000Z

These past 2 weeks or so have been some of the hardest of my life at work. I love my job and find it really fulfilling and feel like I am making a difference, but some days it is just hideous. I can't talk too much about what has happened, but a small 15mth old baby whose mother I was working with died. I believe he is in a better place and is with my amazing God who will lavish him with amazing love and he will be having a ball! But the aftermath is awful.

Some days I want to find a job that has nothing whatsoever to do with human sufferring! The only one I can think of so far is to become a novelist. Living in a small hut by the sea like John Steinbeck - only coming out to speak to happy people - sounds idyllic right now.

I had an amazing experience last year where God really showed me in the most breathtaking way that he carried the sorrow of the world on the cross - it isn't mine to bear. I don't have to bear the weight of all the awful things I see on a daily basis. I know that so well in my head, and to an extent in my heart but on days like these it is hard to not feel the immensity of sorrow and sufferring people deal with.

I have found the song 'Kiss the Son' by Kevin Prosch amazingly helpful:

When you've been broken
Broken to pieces
And your heart begins to faint
'Cause you don't understand

When there is nothing
To rake from the ashes
And you can't even walk
On to the fields of praise

But I bow down and kiss the Son
I bow down and kiss the Son

When the rock falls
Falls upon you
And you get ground to dust
No music for the pain

You opened the windows
The wondows of heaven
And then you opened me
And crushed me like a rose

But I bow down and kiss the Son
I bow down and kiss the Son

Let the praise of the Lord be in my mouth
Let the praise of the Lord be in my mouth

Though you slay me I will trust you Lord
Though you slay me I will trust you Lord
Though you slay me I will trust you Lord
Though you slay me I will trust you Lord.

It is hard to sing those words and mean them - but I guess when it comes down to it if I am serious about being like God and loving him I have to believe and trust him. Even when times are hard. All the time. He never promised us life would be easy - but that he would be with us and that he loves us. Need to keep a grip on that!

New Things!

2007-06-12T15:43:00.001Z

Thought I had better do an update - it has been a while. Sorry.

Well, some new things I have purchased are:

1. The new Biffy Clyro album - Puzzle (pictured here in front of my face).

I like it. It is a bit more commercial than their previous offerings and therefore a bit more instantly likeable I think. Not always a good thing, but I like it all the same. I find their more hardcore albums amazing and interesting and they require more listening to to love. I like an album that is a bit of work sometimes. I have seen Biffy about 5 times I think, and am looking forward to this allbum tour! They are a great live show. They only have one guitarist and I opnly just realised a few months ago that he is actually amazing! He holds the whole thing together on stage so well. Brilliant band. Check them out at the link above if you don't know their stuff already. They also have a Myspace.

2. Membership to Riley's Snooker Club!

A load of my friends and I have joined a snooker club in town. I discovered yesterday that it is open 24 hours a day!! Who on earth is there in the middle of the night?! I intend to go once in the wee small hours just to see what it is like and to make the most of my membership - but who goes on a regular basis?1 I just can't even imagine. Anyway, I am terrible at snooker, but I am determined to get better. It is so much more skilfull than pool that it would be amazing to be able to say that I can actually play snooker. I have played quite a few times recently and I have not done too badly (all the other people I play with are also no good!) and it is quite fun! I am excited for 1st July to come so that I don't come out smelling like an ashtray!

My Visual DNA

2007-05-21T20:06:00.000Z

This is one of those 'pick a load of things that tell you about yourself' exercises. But mine was quite accurate! Try it out!

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Gardening

2007-05-21T19:44:00.000Z

I hate gardening. I think it is safe to say I will never win any kind of awards for my efforts. I can just about manage to mow the lawn once or twice a year and the rest of the time I let nature take its course. Of course I justify these actions by claiming to be a conservationalist - I am allowing wildlife to take refuge in my garden and am replenishing the atmosphere by having a lot of growing, unruly things.

However, as you can see, the thistle is huge! Dave and I (see below) cut it down last Thursday. It was actually a sad day. Louis, my friend and neighbour, told me to keep it until it flowered - there were hundreds of flowers on it just ready to come out! But Dad told me it might be illegal to have thistles as they just get into everyone else's gardens and ruin their lives. So it had to go. I was quite proud of it though - I mean that's a fair height for a weed! It was injuring the people entering the house...

As we cleared a lot of the rubbish and weeds from the garden Dave kept spotting frogs - here is one we caught earlier! I hate frogs, but don't mind them sheltering in my wilderness-like garden. I did mow one once - not a pretty sight!

Visits

2007-05-21T19:37:00.000Z

My cousin Dave popped over last week on his way to London. This is him looking suave on the old Severn Bridge (as opposed to the new one). The last time I walked across this bridge was with someone 'special' and it has since then had an air of remembrance about it for me so I think I have now exercised those demons! About time I feel.

We had a nice time at Bristol Zoo - a worthwhile experience and all on the flat unlike Belfast Zoo which is more like a workout than a fun trip out! The highlight of the trip was watching an otter emerge from some pretty murky water clutching - yes clutching - a dead white rat then proceed to rip the head right off the rat, toss it in the water and eat out its guts! There was a kid beside us rapt but his mum wanted him to turn round and look at the pelicans - no chance! I caught it on video so if anyone knows how to put them on here I would gladly show you! It's quite amusing.

Sporadicism, gigs and new things...

2007-04-29T22:44:00.000Z

This blog, I was reflecting today, is pretty much like every diary slash journal I have ever started. They start out all clean and new and exciting and I want to write in them every day. After a while it isn't so new anymore and things start to look a bit old and boring so I stop writing as much. Then, this is the best part, a kind of nostalgia creeps over me regarding journal keeping and I fondly return to it. And so the process begins again. Having said that my blog is pretty old now so I am not doing too bad, but it does have long dry spells!

Went to see one of my all-time most favourite bands last night in Bath. Oceansize.

They are from Manchester and I saw them last March in Bristol for the first time. They haven't played near here since then. They are on a mini tour to make sure they know all their stuff well enough to go into the studio this week. I think that is just a cunning ploy to make us all go and see the same set list twice - once before the album comes out and once when they do a proper tour after! I am a sucker, but I don't mind. They were so good. It was somewhat ruined by the most amount of tall people to ever have congregated in one place being there and stood in front of me, but I found a small ramp and some space. I hate the way at gigs though you will be stood minding your own business and the person in front of you will just be slowly backing into you - or the person behind will be slowly pressing their whole selves against your back. I discover that I have quite a developed sense of personal space at these things!

Anyway, I got some new stuff yesterday and I thought I would share..

1. Crocs!

These are the comfiest shoes I have ever owned in my life! It is like putting your foot into a piece of sturdy paper. What, I hear you ask, would be the use of that? Well, they are just so light and smoothe and nice to wear! You don't even feel like you have shoes on! They have nice thick soles so you don't hurt your feet on stones like you would with paper - a good andvantage of the croc I think. But yet they are like air to wear! And they have loads of little air vents to keep the foot cool. And they are great for water (useful for me as my Dad is into building dams..). There is some debate as to whether or not they are biodegradable - I can't find a definitive answer. It would be good if they were! Still, very good by all accounts!

2. Imogen Heap: Speak for Yourself

A really great album. I am on my 4th listen. Really amazing layers in the songs and beautiful words. Not to mention a great voice, and she does all the playing, singing, recording, mixing and producing herself - kudos to Imogen.

3. Midlake: The Trials of Van Occupanther

A very cool album by a band from Texas. I don't know much about them other than they all started off as Jazz musicians which makes me feel confident in their abilities! I like their rich harmonies and their sort of old fashioned slash indie feel. Not fully decided yet about the whole thing but so far it is looking good.

4. Nelly Furtado : Loose

I really like some of the singles off this album. I am thinking I maybe should have just got the singles, but I will wait and see if it is a grower! The good thing about Fopp, the music store I bought all of these in, is they have a 'suck it and see' policy so I can take it all back! Sweet eh?

So, you're all up to date now with the land of Mead. Hope you are all doing well!

Mead News Indeed

2007-04-24T16:02:00.000Z

So, my bedroom window leaks. If there is any kind of consistent rainfall it pours in in a steady stream through the wood cladding at the top of the window. I sent Louis up into the loft once to look at it - he came back reporting wet felt quite far out from the eaves. Not a good sign!

It hasn't rained for a while, but last night it had a good go at it. Even before I went to bed it was coming in quite fast so I got a grey bucket and put it under the drips. The bucket did its job admirably. However, I found that constant dripping from a fair height is an annoying noise when tring to sleep!! So I put my ear phones in and listened to some music. I always go to sleep with music on so this wasn't unusual for me. What was unusual, and slightly defeated the purpose of soothing music, was that I had to have it so loud to drown out the drip it kept me awake! So, having dozed off and on and getting cross until about 5am I suddenly had a brain wave!

I got a screw driver and jammed this fetching pair of pj bottoms between the wood-cladding and the window in order to catch the drips and force them to soak down through the material into the bucket! Clever me eh? It worked quite well for a while, then the pjs got so soaked they started to drip from all kinds of places and I had to get up again to tie them into more of a column.

By that time it was 5.30am. I eventually fell into a good old sleep and my alarm went off. Not so blessed! But I thought you might be amused by the photo of my ingenious idea. It doens't look so good from outside...

Home Related Fun

2007-04-23T21:24:00.000Z

I went home just before Easter for a few days to see the fam and Paul and Fiona were home from Romania which was nice. Dad has always been a big mountain-man and I think secretly he always wished for a boy-child who woulld scarper up moutains with him and do camping etc. Unfortunately he got me - more into shopping! I have, however, found myself a bit more willing to do mountain-type things of late so we headed up the Mournes one day. It was a really beautiful day and the dogs were in fine form. It was really nice. I would show you an actual picture of us up the mountains but I forgot to take my camera! Northern Ireland is truly a beautiful country - so much of it left to explore and so little time! Even in a life time it would be hard to get it all covered.

Happy Birthday Dad!

2007-04-23T21:13:00.000Z

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Da-aaad,
Happy birthday to you!

It is my dear papa's birthday today. I phoned him this morning to say happy birthday and let him know his present was here! Not the most useful place for it to be, but it is now winging it's merry way through the hallowed halls of Royal Mail to Victoria Cottage in time for breakfast tomorrow. Still looking good for an older man Dad! xx

Work Related Fun!

2007-04-23T21:06:00.000Z

With work I went off for an overnight stay to a place called Ffald y Brennan. It is half way up a sort of mountain in Wales. We had a great time! Only women, so there was a lot of laughing and story telling. This is Hannah that I work with - she is the funniest person I know practically. We make each other laugh a lot at work - which I value highly as sometimes our jobs (and especially hers) are very stressful.

General Update

2007-03-21T20:44:00.000Z

Time for a general update I think. so...

1. check out www.weightingtheissue.blogspot.com to see how my new push for slim-jim-ness is going. Updated at least every Wednesday. Doing good so far!

2. Work is good - still enjoying it. It is sometimes hard and hectic, but I even like those days. It makes such a difference to work with people you really love and in a team that works so well. It is sometimes sad and frustrating when people seem to make good steps towards change and then don't quite make it, but I know God provides hope for every situation so who am I to give up?!

3. House - have 2 people living here, Kim (pictured above..) and Ash. Both nice and Kim and I have very similar taste in TV programmes which works out very well! Poor Ash doens't get much of a look in. He has only been here a month so he may yet try to assert his own TV privileges. I will let you know. We had a German girl come and stay at the weekend for 4 days who just had some friends to meet in Bristol.

4. Youth Stuff - just had a youth weekend at church which I helped organise. It was all based on worship. It was really good fun. The only problem being I am on this dumb lent fast of veg and fruit and I was doing the catering! I didn't think the young people would appreciate only fruit and veg so I had to cook with all kinds of yummy things I couldn't eat! That aside, people met with God and lives have been changed so that sort of outweighs the food issue!

5. Went to see Russell Brand Live - very, very funny. He is a clever and articulate, talented comedian.

That will do for now!

Funny Incident...

2007-03-16T00:04:00.000Z

As part of my new exercise regime I am amassing things to watch as I peddle my way to being a slimjim. I have worked my way through series 4 of The West Wing, quite a few episodes of 24, and have now just begun to watch a new TV show called Heroes (pictured in caricature). This morning was my first Heroes episode and I didn't really know what to expect - I had heard some good reviews which is why I decided to watch it.

Anyway, this morning I set it all up, got on my bike and started to peddle away. I thought the music in the opening few minutes was a bit loud and I couldn't really hear what the characters were saying - I thought that was a bit odd but couldn't be bothered getting off my bike to investigate. I actually really enjoyed the music and thought it went really well with the mood of the show and loved the drama it added - it was classical stuff and I recognised a lot of it.

I had to pause the whole thing in the middle to go and have a shower otherwise I would have been late for work and when I did the soundtrack kept playing!! I thought something bad had gone wrong and maybe when I pressed play again the voices would be ahead of the action, but alas no... I had pressed play on my itunes at the same time as pressing play on the show and was in fact listening to my own itunes classical library!! Hahahaha. How dumb am I? Pretty dumb!

The weird thing is that I don't remember any bits of the show where I thought the music was discordant which you would expect if you were listening to two different soundtracks at once! What a numpty! Made me laugh anyway. I will reserve my judgement on Heroes for now. I was intrigued by the first episode and I will let you know how it goes from now on.

Ben Folds - another obsession

2007-03-06T21:33:00.000Z

I got this album for my birthday this year from Banks (thanks Banks) and I love it! I love most Ben Folds slash Ben Folds Five albums. I think Rockin The Suburbs is still my all time best but this album is definitely joint second with Whatever and Ever Amen. He is worth checking out! I like his sad songs the best - he is a great lyricist. Listening to his albums in succession is like listening to his life progress.

New Obsessions

2007-02-28T23:11:00.000Z

The Dark Tower septology by Stephen King. I am not normally a big fan of his but a good friend recommended it to me so I am on book 2 now. It is honestly so bizarre and odd. It is a bit like Lord of the Rings in that it is an epic journey and there is so far one main character who is trying to get to the Dark Tower. Everyone else seems secondary to him right now. I don't want to make any assumptions yet about how the rest of the 6 books will pan out! So far he seems to sleep with women/oracles to retrieve information. Interesting approach...

And...

The West Wing! Whoever invented indoor bikes had me in mind. I would like to shake his hand. There is nothing better than getting up in the morning, whacking on The West Wing, and cycling for 40mins without noticing! I would be watching the WW anyway as it is gripping and briliant. The dialogue is so clever! I am on series 4. So good! When I saw trails on the TV for it I didn't think it looked that good - but believe me, it really is! Worth a look.

Neglect

2007-02-28T23:08:00.000Z

I have been neglecting Mead News in favour of a new website I am the proud owner of called Weighting The Issue - there is a link on the left of this page. It is a new website (in the same vein as Pete Martin's) to track my Weight Watchers journey Mark 2! Check it out this week!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

2007-02-11T02:36:00.000Z

Happy Birthday Ems!! Have a great day and lets hope Ireland win today for you.

Lumt how excited you'll be with what I sent you for your birthday!

2007-02-06T16:20:00.000Z

Now that Maud has proved herself an able and beautiful companion I am now in the process of uploading all of my music onto her - partly for my enjoyment, and partly for hers! I have 2.3 days worth of music on Maud already, and about 2/3 of my collection to go so it could end up being quite a body of work!

Also, I am glad Apple have won the fight to keep their name - let's face it, what is more current? The Beatles or Apple Mac? It's good to move on. I don't care about The Beatles (although I do like the song Blackbird).

Ebay

2007-02-06T16:18:00.000Z

Made my first sale on ebay the other day and now may be addicted! Good way to make a bit of money I feel. I have so much stuff I don't really need - it is good to have an outlet for it!

2007-01-25T17:57:00.001Z

My goal for this year is to get a grip on my finances once and for all and get out of debt by the end of the year (hahahahaha). It is a good goal and I am going to take it very seriously.

Anyway, the best thing I have found to aid in my goal-achieving is Microsoft Excel for Mac (loath as I am to give any kind of credit to any Microsoft product...). It does amazing things (after you have had a tutorial from someone who knows about these things(thanks Dubs)!) like ad all your income up on its own! And take away all your outgoings on its own! I know this is probably not news to very many of you, but to me it was like an epiphany!

2007-01-25T17:57:00.000Z

Biffy Gig

2007-01-15T23:30:00.000Z

I am just back from a Biffy Clyro gig and my ears are ringing so much I can't really hear anything! I have music on now at a volume that is usually good for night times - won't wake anyone else that means - and I can't really hear it! Ringing is about all I can hear! That's how you know you have been to a great gig.

The support bands were average to poor. One of them had an old man in it who looked like a dad! And he screamed the whole time. Quite odd.

Favourite bits:
> when everyone sang doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo in 57
> Glitter and Trauma

Great gig. I love Biffy every time I see them. Definitely worth a viewing if they are coming to a hall near you.

Welcome To The Revolution

2007-01-14T09:39:00.000Z

Please welcome my new imac - her name is Maud. She is so pretty - and so amazingly functional! I love macs - I love them. I can't even really put it into words. It is just a thing of beauty and a joy for as long as it lasts. I also love 'geeks' because without them (or one of them) I would have lost all the info off my old mac and also sold it with a load of info on it which some other computer geek might have accessed and stolen my identity! So Banks, I salute you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!

2007-01-14T09:35:00.000Z

I would like to wish my favourite aunt (I can say that because I think she is the only aunt who reads this! And she is the one on the right in this picture) a very happy, but belated, Birthday for the 12th January! I am sorry I didn't call - I have no credit on my calling card thing but I promise I will! I hope you had a nice day and did a lot of shopping! I wish I had been there. Love you. xx

5 Things You May or May Not Know About Me.

2006-12-24T23:29:00.000Z

I quite like this blog-tagging. It makes it feel more like community! So I will carry it on like a good girl. So, 5 things you may or may not know about me:

1. I have been dying my hair since I was 13. It has been blonde, ginger, red, blue, black, red and blonde, red and black, balck and blonde, blonde and blue, blonde and pink, and maybe even some other variations. Here is a photo of one!

2. When I was 4 I went to Norway with my parents. We had to swap trains at some point in the middle (I was only 4 so details escape me a bit) and my mum thought I was with my dad so merrily hopped on the train. Dad thought I was with mum and merrily hopped on a different place on the train! When they met up as the whistle blew I was not with either of them - indeed I was found wandering along the platform with someone from the train station staff chatting happily!

3. When I was at primary school I was on tv in the kids TV programme Swings and Roundabouts - me and my friend Stanley were filmed on a farm near our house looking at all the animals etc.

4. I once reported my car stolen to the police only to see (as I was driven by them in a NI Police Landrover) I had parked it further down the street and had just forgotten! I had to tell them in case as I drove it home I got stopped and booked for stealing a car! (Most embarrassing moment).

5. My first boyfriend was called Paul (in P2 or year 2 for English folk) and I dumped him because he tried to kiss me. I liked him purely because he wore Doc Marten's to school.

I would like to tag... Kirk, Paul Bayfield and Charlie Knox.

Home For Christmas!

2006-12-23T23:38:00.000Z

I am in Ireland over Christmas! It is nice to be home - nice to sleep and not have to think too much about when I need to get up! Nice to not have to think about having food in the house - it is like being young, the food just is there! It is nice to see family and friends and catch up.

Chrstmas around here involves lots of socialising, eating, being out on Dad's trucks (hence the photo and I thought I would add one of Drew and Carla for all of you who know them!) and playing with the dogs etc (the one in the middle is dead... sad).

So, see you when I get back, or catch you around the 'hinch!

2006-11-24T13:45:00.000Z

Yesterday was Thanksgiving in America and as one of my very good friends is American we decided to have a bit of a do! We ate lamb (hence the picture) and loads of other yummy things. I was going to post all of this yesterday but as some people didn't leave until 2.20am it was not possible!

We had a moment of sobriety around the table as we all said what things we were thankful for. We all said roughly the same things - family, friends, God... that kind of thing. But I thought I would expand on my list here - to include those who couldn't make it to the table! Feel free to comment your thanks things.

1. Ice cream - especially Ben and Jerry's Caramel Chew Chew and Baskin Robbins Hokey Pokey.
2. Mac computers - I am temporarily bereft of one but I will return!
3. Volkswagen Golfs
4. Winter - means cold water from the tap!
5. Winter - I don't have to mow the lawn.
6. Winter - it is legtitimate to have loads of candles lit almost all the time.
7. Winter - it is almost Christmas!
8. Winter - cold but sunny days when you can see your breath but have to wrap up warm.
9. Winter - no bees or wasps.
10. Winter - can eat custard guilt-free.
11. Winter - nice scarves, good accessories, darker make-up.
12. Movies - can't beat a bit of escapism.
13. Technology - can keep in touch all over the world.
14. Russell Brand - he makes me laugh so much I cry.
15. TK Max! Nuff said...

2006-11-06T00:41:00.000Z

Sorry for the lack of posts - less of your complaining though those of you who disappeared offline for a long long time!!

I have been in the USA for almost 2 weeks at my cousin's wedding. Katherine married Adam last Saturday in California.

I went not last Monday but the one before and stayed with my Auntie Katie and Uncle Tom. I had a great time!! They spoil me really badly (thank you so much!!) and we went shopping almost every day! I had to buy a new bag to get everything home that I bought. Such great Christmas shopping.

The psychology gets me every time though - you get almost 2 dollars to a pound so I look at something in dollars - say it is $20 - and think 'that's £10' which immediately makes me think it is half price therefore making it a bargain and worth buying. But I have also saved myself a tenner somewhere down the line so have more to spend!! Haha. Women...

I flew business class thanks to my cousin's friend who works for an airline. It was brilliant!! I had salmon for dinner - and it was nice!

I had a class time with Dad at the wedding, with my aunt's all the time, with my cousin Tim on our road trip, with my little cousin Taylor all over the place, with Stephanie and her family... It was just a great holiday! My body clock is so screwed up though!! I was awake until after 4am yesterday and slept until 2.40pm today!! Bad news!

Here are a few more photos...

2006-11-06T00:02:00.000Z

They got married in a fly fishing lodge in California. It was really beautiful. This is the view from the top of the hill. The lodge was down in the valley among the trees just turning to autumn.

2006-11-05T23:59:00.000Z

We hung some lanterns in trees right outside the lodge where the reception of the wedding was and where we stayed for the weekend. Very pretty!

2006-11-05T23:54:00.000Z

My cousin Tim and I drove 4 hours from Reno (desert) to Redding (lush mountains). This was us just about an hour out of Reno. I think it's like a postcard!

2006-11-05T23:51:00.000Z

This is Katherine with her mum and my dad.

2006-11-05T23:45:00.000Z

We saw this dog in a car park and thought it was funny.

2006-10-20T23:43:00.000Z

I went to Alton Towers yesterday with a woman I work with. She is terminally ill and in a wheelchair now. It was quite a fun day with a few slightly stressful bits. We almost made it home without any major incidents (merely puncture wounds from some serious hand gripping action on particularly scary rides) but not quite...

About 10 minutes away from home, having slept for 3 hours in the car, she woke up and threw up all over the back of the car! Now I am not so good with sick. Most other bodily functions - or maybe excretions is a better word - are ok with me but sick is not. When I am sick I am hysterical and when someone else is sick I am retching and heaving along with them. Luckily my friend Ruth was with me who is on the whole better at sick than me. So while I stood behind the car on the hard shoulder of the motorway with my fingers in my ears to avoid even hearing the whole process she found 2 small laby-sized tissues in her bag! That was the sum total of our clean-up supplies! We had to just put a bag over the sick in the car and drive on home.

When we got back to the hospital where my woman lives I managed to get her inside and pleaded with one of the nurses to come and help me clean up. They didn't seem too keen to be honest but I think my genuinely ashen face and look of panic won them over in the end.

Now, I am 'happy' to report, the car stinks like some kind of sick-pool - as though all the sick of a thousand people with morning sickness and whooping cough has at one stage in the past 24 hours been pumped into my car. Not so nice I have to admit.

One slightly annoying thing the nurse said when we got back was 'didn't anyone give you a sick bowl to take because she has been being sick a lot recently'. Well, no, no one gave us a sick bowl or even mentioned this new phenomenon. So might have to write a letter about that sometime.

Sorry...

2006-10-20T23:37:00.000Z

I realise I have been neglecting my blog of late. It isn't because I have dropped out of online community, it is more because I have been posting on another site. Part of my church is called aardv:ark (because we meet in a building called The Ark...) and we have recently set up an aardvarkers blog (see link to the left) which is really great and loads of people read it and comment on it. So I have been a bit neglectful of my own blog. Indeed if blogs had social services mine would probably be in temporary foster care due to abusive neglect.

Donnie-Dog

2006-10-07T16:43:00.000Z

I had Donnie for the weekend last week. It was great - apart from the rain! I got up early on Sunday morning to walk him before church and this is what we looked like when we got home. Both of us soaked to the skin, him happy, me not so much. He was in and out of the river so he didn't mind the rain so much. I counted one peel (peal?) of thunder that lasted for 19 seconds! I am not sure about my second-counting but I counted to 19 anyway. It was quite dramatic and quite pretty really. Not too many other people around! It was great to have the dog again though - he is such good company and so well trained and obedient. I love him a lot!

2006-10-01T08:44:00.000Z

I found this photo online somewhere the other day. Isn't it beautiful?! I would like to be there because right now I am lying on my bed listening to the rain absolutely pelting down and I have to go out in an hour. Not a nice feeling!!

Before the revolution

2006-09-10T22:43:00.000Z

Before again
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

Since the day and hour I moved into my house I have hated the bathroom. From the disgusting green suite, to the horrible chicken tiles, the non-matching flooring and the two-angled toilet. After I had been in the house about 2 years it started to leak water into the kitchen from around the bath so, as you can see here, I have duck taped up the walls and hung plastic down into the bath. That was there for about 2 years!!

Anyway, with the help of my lovely parents I have now achieved bathroom revolution and am the proud owner of the nicest bathroom I have ever seen in my life! Possibly the comparison between the old and the new clouds my judgement but still, it is spectacularly amazing as far as I am concerned. So, for all of you who have waited with me, showered with the plastic and duck tape, and listened to me rabbit on endlessly about my plans for the bathroom - here is the finished product!! Enjoy - and feel free to po round for a sample bath!

Finished shots!

2006-09-10T22:38:00.000Z

Finished shots!
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

Please note the amazingly shaped new bath, the beautiful shower screen, the lovely wall tiles, the lack of plastic and duck tape, the lovely taps, the non-slip floor tiles, the clean, sweeping lines of the bath panel...

Side Wall boredom

2006-09-10T22:36:00.000Z

KIF_1760.JPG
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

Please note the gross flooring, the nasty wood panelling, the bubbly green wallpaper, the old and boring bathroom cabinets.

More Beauty

2006-09-10T22:35:00.000Z

More Beauty
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

Please note the beautiful wallpaper, the picture frames (nothing in them yet so open to suggestions!), the nice lights, the stylish shelf with clever baskets for cleaning accessories and toilet rolls and the colour co-ordinating towels!

Before...

2006-09-10T22:32:00.000Z

Before...
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

Please note the awful tile stickers, weird double angled toilet, hideous floor covering, undressed window and hideous greenness.

How can you even look at it!?

2006-09-10T22:31:00.000Z

How can you even look at it!?
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

Note the lovely angle of the toilet, the beautiful whiteness, clean and simple. The sweet little curtain and the amazing taps!

Take Up Your Cross Daily...

2006-09-01T13:23:00.000Z

KIF_1734.JPG
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

I have been thinking a lot recently about persecution. I read a book set in about 50 AD when Christians were being sent to the lions and seen as sport for the Roman hoi polloi. The clarity that came with knowing God was sovereign and that this life is only temporary is something I think I am beginning to seek.

It is hard to think what it might mean in our society. I know there are people all over the world who are being persecuted because they believe in a living, breathing Jesus who is involved in the world and the lives of the people who love him but it isn't like that here - yet. Do I think it will get like that? Maybe, but in more insidious and subtle ways. Like not being able to state our beliefs because they aren't politically correct.

I read a report online today about a woman in Germany who's state benefits were cut when she refused to take a job in a brothel. They have legalised prostitution there so brothels, like everyone else, pay taxes and have access to clients from employment agencies. It's a bit of a tangent, and I don't know if she didn't take the job on faith grounds or just because she felt she didn't want to do that kind of work, but what kind of society is that? Will churhces soon have to go through employment agencies and have to take whoever comes as their next pastor for fear of being sued for unfair discrimination?

How far am I personally willing to go though? In 2 Timothy 3:12 it says this... "In fact, everyone who wants to live a Godly life in Christ Jesus WILL BE PERSECUTED". I think I shield myself, even from the mildest persecution, by not saying what I really think about things. Or not saying the real reasons why I do the things I do, or don't do the things I don't do. I don't want to stand up on a soap box and list off the things I disagree with, but who am I kidding if I think that Jesus would be happy with the way I live my life in this society? Consumerism and Materialism are things I buy into (intended pun), as well as watching a load of rubbish on TV that promotes morals and standards I don't in theory agree with. If Jesus didn't already know all about me and my world there are a lot of things I think I would be ashamed to tell him about our post-modern, foreward thinking, advanced Western Society. (I sound a bit like I am on a soap box - sorry!).

I have so many questions about all of this - what are the things I need to take a stand on and what are the things that I need to let go? How should I be living my life that is radically and challengingly different? If it came down to it, would I own Jesus if I was held at gun point? Or threatened with prison? Or homelessness? Or unemployment? I obviously would like to think I would, but I can't say for sure.

I don't have any answers - and to be honest I think I just needed to get it all out on to virtual paper. It is what's in my mind at the minute. Sorry it is so long - and well done if you have read this far! Feel free to comment - I would welcome some input. Or email me if you have my email address and a comment won't do!

Sunrise on Snowdon

2006-08-13T16:18:00.000Z

sunset on snowden.JPG
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

I didn't take this picture but I really love it. It reminds me of my favourite poem...

He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.

WB Yeats

p and me

2006-08-09T15:37:00.000Z

p and me
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

Paul has gone, and I am sad. He left today at 2.13pm on the bus to Templemeads. It has been 'normal' having him around this summer and especially when I have been in pain! He makes me laugh a lot and is ridiculously kind, helpful, funny and generous. I miss him already!
Here's to: you swine, eez naice, ooh no, high fives, ticket to ride 4 slash 2 player, naps, good books, shopping trips, losing your starbucks cherry, blue fences, big brother, scrubs, movies, trogdor the burninator, and so, so much more.

Recent Mishaps!

2006-08-09T15:22:00.000Z

sunburn.JPG
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

The only drawback of Love Bristol (see below) was on Sunday... I was on welcoming at the gate for ages and walking around chatting to people the rest of my time and apparently I couldn't reach as far down my back as I thought with the old suntan lotion! Paul (housemate Paul) thought it was hilarious so took a picture. It is now fine and brown with only a small peel at the front.

Also, on Monday night at work I was stepping off a curb and managed to completely buckle my ankle! Stepped off onto my right foot which went over so tried to save myself with my left foot which bent first inwards as far as it would go, and then outwards as far as it would go! I collapsed on the floor for a while and made labour-type noises! Poor Joy who was with me didn't quite know what to do! Anyway, I have sprained my ankle and can't walk anymore. I can put a little bit of weight on it but can't bend it - which when you actually think about it is all your foot is good for, bending as you walk. So sitting at home watching movies, reading and generally feeling a bit sorry for myself!

Love Bristol

2006-08-09T15:12:00.000Z

DSCF1296.jpg
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

A load of us from BCF headed down to Hengrove Park 2 weeks ago to take part in Love Bristol Festival. It was a SoulintheCity kind of event - working in the local communities to make them look nicer and be practically helpful and show people the love of God in a non-Bible-bashing way!
We spent 2 days painting play equipment in a school (pictured here...) and then on the Friday my team headed out onto the streets. We gave out sweets, picked up litter and gave people leaflets about the free family festival being put on in the park on Fri night, Sat and Sun.
It was a really good weekend. I had some great conversations with people, had some fun with some hoodlums... It was just really good to be doing something useful.

paul the cave man slash air guitarist

2006-08-02T23:49:00.000Z

p the cave man slash air guitarist.JPG
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. As I have mentioned before, posts with no pictures aren't that exciting and last month I used up all my flickr space with Polish pics so I couldn't get any new ones on here (I probably could have done it some other way but I just don't know how!). But now I am back!!

I'm not sure what Paul is doing here... But look at that fire!! Mike, Paul and I sat out one night ages ago and burnt all the old bits of fence we pulled off and some other offcuts from sofa making etc. It was lovely! I love fires and I love pictures of fire. It is never ever the same twice.

fire sofa.JPG

2006-08-02T23:45:00.000Z

fire sofa.JPG
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

This is me trying to avoid having my legs burnt off by the immense fire the boys kept going. What is it with boys and not being able to just have a nice, warming, glowing fire? It has to be an almighty blaze that is almost burning down the house! It was fun though. Incidentally, how good does that wall look white?! I love it!

Poland

2006-07-20T23:27:00.000Z

KIF_1661.JPG
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

Dad and I went to Poland a few weeks ago. There are loads of pictures on my Flickr site so click on any of the ones you see here and more will magically appear. There are far too many to upload all at once!

It was great to see a different country. Dad's job (and his willingness to take me on trips) is a huge bonus in my life!

These trams were in all the cities we went to. It was hair-raising to try to cross traffic in a car as you had to cross the tram lines in the middle of the road and you had to watch that one wasn't coming along! There weren't any signs or signals to stop you moseying out onto the tracks ever... so if you were trying to pull a U-eee (not sure how to spell that) in the middle of the road you could easily have been swept away by a passing tram. It needs to be seen to be believed.

We had a great time with the National Director of YFC there and I had some fun shopping in H&M!

On the last day we decided to visit Auschwitz (see below) which made us late for our plane so we had to change our flights to Warsaw (originally we were flying out of Krakow) and stay in Krakow for one more night. The next day we zipped up to Warsaw in our hired Kia Picante (don't get one if you need any kind of room to carry anything other than 2 people in the front!) and waited for our new flight. As we stood in line we heard an announcement to say that it had been cancelled!! So we had to get another flight home the next morning. What a polaver! I was a bit overwrought as the night before Dad's snoring had kept me awake all night (or so it felt to me although he says every time he got up I was fast asleep...) so got a bit upset at the thought of another sleepless night. But in the end a silver lining was found in the form of my own room with air-con, a huge kingsize bed and my own bathroom with a lovely shower and free toiletries! What more could anyone ask!

The Bermuda Triangle

2006-07-20T23:18:00.000Z

KIF_1672.JPG
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

An area of Wraclaw where most people who go in don't come back out. An area of major social deprivation.

Poignant Grafitti

2006-07-20T23:15:00.000Z

KIF_1678.JPG
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

In the middle of The Triangle this grafitti says "God forgives... the Triangle doesn't".

Violetta and Aga

2006-07-20T23:12:00.000Z

KIF_1716.JPG
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

This is the National Director of YFC in Poland (on the right) and one of her staff. We had dinner in this amazing restaurant called Il Splendido or something like that. It was soooooo good.

Auschwitz

2006-07-20T23:11:00.000Z

KIF_1726.JPG
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

Dad and I visited Auschwitz on our last day in Poland. It is not a pleasant tourist attraction. There is too much to take in to even begin to tell you how it was or what the feelings are it evokes in me. I don't know if I have processed it even now. To think that human beings could ever be so cruel and systematically wipe out millions of ordinary people is beyond my comprehension. It is good not to forget.

Arbeit Macht Frei

2006-07-20T23:07:00.000Z

KIF_1721.JPG
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

Labour Makes Free... Some of the most famous gates in the world.

Birkenau

2006-07-20T23:05:00.000Z

KIF_1741.JPG
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

This is the train track built especially to transport people into the death camp - once through the gates not many came back out.

Patio before

2006-06-17T23:09:00.000Z

Patio before
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

Today was DIY day! The garden needed some updating so I thought I would enlist the help of some of my friends slash lodgers! So Linz came round and Paul and Mike weighed in for some paint-fun and Pete came a bit later! The sofa revolution continued as Mike sanded it all down finally and it was painted. We also painted round the patio white to frame the sofa and make a Moroccan-style seating area. Honestly, how like one of those dumb design shows do I sound?!

Anyway, this is a before picture. Everything was in a bit of a mess....

More before shots

2006-06-17T23:04:00.000Z

More before shots
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

This is mid-warm-up! We were just beginning.

Chair pre-sealing

2006-06-17T23:02:00.000Z

Chair pre-sealing
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

The other thing we had to do today was finish off the sofa! It is looking pretty good here I think but it looks even better now. It was a bit of a mission to sand the whole thing but luckily Louis has some kind of electrical sander so it wasn't as bad as I thought it might have been!

The patio - almost finished

2006-06-17T22:59:00.000Z

The patio - almost finished
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

This is almost the finished product! I still have some lavender plants winging their way to me in the post that I bought on ebay so they will be added to the general plant mele which will be nice. It looks a bit sparse at the minute because all the plants are little but it looks cool. I was just sitting out there with the little lantern lit and a citronella canlde and it was sweet. The white bucket in the very bottom right if the picture has a water pump in it. It doesn't look cool, but in the dark it makes a great noise! I like my garden!

My hope..

2006-06-12T22:09:00.000Z

I have had one of those days at work that just emotionally takes it out of me. I went to a meeting this afternoon about one of my women who is in hospital. Basically all the people who are involved with her got together to chat about what we need to do when she leaves hospital. She has HIV, the advanced stages, and also a thing called PML which makes her shake due to lesions on the brain. She has a maximum of 6 months to live.

We chatted about it all and we know that she doesn't want to go into a home, she wants to go back to her flat. But she won't be able to. She is too sick and would need 24 hour care in a new, modified flat. But it doesn't feel right to be making decisions about what is effectively the rest of someone's life. We can collectively overrule her wishes but that doesn't feel right either because we don't want to make her last months miserable for her.

So we brought the woman in to the meeting eventually in her wheelchair and the doctor told her that she had a maximum of 6 months to live with all of us there! It was so distressing. I think they had told her before but it just hadn't sunk in until it became clear that a lot of people were involved in making these next months do-able. She was so upset and had to leave as you can imagine. One of the other support workers went out with her and tried to talk to her but she couldn't even speak and she didn't come back to the meeting again.

It is so sad. She has a twin sister who is so "normal" for want of a better word. She has a job and a husband and a son and a "normal" life. My woman has been addicted to heroin for 10 years or so and her life is in tatters. The contrast is so stark and so distressing. She could have had all the same things as her sister - she just made some dodgy decisions as a teenager and it all spiralled out of her control. I don't know what to do. I want to save her - to make her better - to make all this go away - to stop her shaking - to give her hope - to love her - to hold on to her and cry... So basically I will just have to pray as I can't do any of those things - well, I can love her, and maybe give her hope in God! Which would be great.

When I came out of the hospital a Robin Mark song went round and round in my head -
My hope is in The Lord,
Who has made all things new,
When everything seems hopeless,
My hope is still in you.

My hope is in You God, My hope is in You God...

(I may have got all the words wrong but it helped me!)

Batty

2006-06-08T21:43:00.000Z

Batty
Originally uploaded by Mac enthusiast.

So last night I am lying on top of my bed reading before I go to sleep. It was about 11.30pm. The next thing I catch a movement in the air out of the corner of my eye and I look up only to discover a BAT!! flying around in my bedroom!!! As anyone who knows me cxan imagine I almost wet myself. I shouted some expletives and leapt off the bed in the general direction of the door and flipped on the light figuring they might not like it if they are nocturnal!

By this stage my heart is hammering and my toes have curled under my feet so far I have cramp. The bat has stopped moving now so I leg it out of the door and head downstairs. My housemate Mike was due home from work in about an hour so I decided to wait up for him. Obviously there wasn't a chance of me sleeping in the room with the bat and there was even less chance of me catching it myself!

I watched TV for a bit and tried to calm down. When Mike came home I filled him in and he too was a tad freaked out! So I sent him off upstairs to get it out! But I couldn't handle the suspense! So I went up and poked my head around the door. Mike was delicately tip-toeing around my room with a towel around his head. haha. It was quite funny. Anyway, when he had his back turned I saw the bat flappiong around behind my chair so I screamed and legged it out and away from my room which freaked Mike out and he legged it out after me!

By this stage I was pretty much hysterical and Mike could make no sense of what I was saying through my laughter and tears! Eventually I told him it was behind the chair so he went back in and looked under the chair where he found Batty here hiding! So he took a few pics while I again poked my head round the door! Eventually he threw a towel over it and carried it outside - not before I closed every window and ran upstairs!

We had to have a small Bailey's to calm ourselves down and I think I shook for about an hour afterwards! What a polaver!! I am a ridiculous woose! Good times and I thank the Lord for Mike! I would never have been able to go into that room again without him! Tribute to the Kiwi.